Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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