did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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