one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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