At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I want a musical about memes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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