Got a toothbrush?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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