i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
