I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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