I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
