***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
