I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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