dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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