yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
