I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
