It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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