If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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