this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
