But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
