if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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