i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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