this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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