in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
