I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
