I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You were trust falling into bushes
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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