You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
