you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i think i just lost a toe
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
