So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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