the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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