I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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