youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.