By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.