I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.