awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
