I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
