I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
