Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
