I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
