You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
