Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
