Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
