I want to make a zoo with you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Someone came in the potted fern
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
