Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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