shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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