Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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