I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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