i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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