i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
