The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
