I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
