Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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