Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
