It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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