well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
