you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
