May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
