is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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