Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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