bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
