Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
