Michael Bay diarrhea
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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