where am i from again
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
