the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
