This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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