jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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