so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
