They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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